Eight things that will happen in the build up to the World Cup
Wayne Rooney will break his ankle in a friendly against Oman. However, Dean Windass will be confirmed as fully fit
The BBC will run numerous scare stories about stadiums not being completed in time for the World Cup. In each one, the concerned reporter will be wearing a yellow hard hat, proving it’s the first time he’s been near a building site in his life
A fat man from the midlands will be pictured on the front of the Daily Star covered in blood after a “quiet pint” in Johannesburg gets a bit out of hand
On the day of England’s first match, the TV news will focus on a bar in Glasgow with several kilted men in Germany or Argentina tops singing Flower of Scotland
Every office will get a World Cup wallchart. Not one will complete it
At least half of the adverts on TV will feature a man in an ordinary situation suddenly celebrating in the manner of Fabrizio Ravanelli, while a jobbing actor dressed as John Motson “commentates” on him
The banner-makers of England will be inundated with requests for personalized St George cross flags from such soccer hotbeds as Bury St Edmonds and Dorchester
The Economist will run a story about South Africa’s prostitutes cashing in on the World Cup. The Daily Star will run virtually the same piece a day later – but with a picture of Makosi from Big Brother next to it with her breasts out
Wayne Rooney will break his ankle in a friendly against Oman. However, Dean Windass will be confirmed as fully fit
The BBC will run numerous scare stories about stadiums not being completed in time for the World Cup. In each one, the concerned reporter will be wearing a yellow hard hat, proving it’s the first time he’s been near a building site in his life
A fat man from the midlands will be pictured on the front of the Daily Star covered in blood after a “quiet pint” in Johannesburg gets a bit out of hand
On the day of England’s first match, the TV news will focus on a bar in Glasgow with several kilted men in Germany or Argentina tops singing Flower of Scotland
Every office will get a World Cup wallchart. Not one will complete it
At least half of the adverts on TV will feature a man in an ordinary situation suddenly celebrating in the manner of Fabrizio Ravanelli, while a jobbing actor dressed as John Motson “commentates” on him
The banner-makers of England will be inundated with requests for personalized St George cross flags from such soccer hotbeds as Bury St Edmonds and Dorchester
The Economist will run a story about South Africa’s prostitutes cashing in on the World Cup. The Daily Star will run virtually the same piece a day later – but with a picture of Makosi from Big Brother next to it with her breasts out
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ReplyDeleteI watched the Damned United last night. Top film and not a Danny Dyer in sight.